We take the best academic papers and summarize them in plain English so you can improve your idating site, and help your users make better connections.
Title: Perceptions of Ideal and Former Partners' Personality and Similarity
Authors: Pieternel Dijkstra and Dick P. H. Barelds, University of Groningen, Netherlands
Contact: [email protected]
Full Report: http://agnaldogarcia.files.wordpress.com/2010/12/03_paper.pdf
Pages: 20
Summary, In Plain English:
Summarized by Bradley R. Brenner, Ph.D., Psychologist and Relationship Therapist
If you ask psychologists and relationships experts if birds of a feather flock together they’d more or less say yes. They’d tell you that healthy and lasting relationships are more likely borne out of similar personalities than opposites. However, do most people actually believe that? And do people think of having similar personalities as something that they should prioritize above other factors when searching for their ideal partner? The authors of this study sought to find out.
The authors surveyed 871 women and men who were members of two online dating sites in the Netherlands. The participants ranged in age from 19-78, with an average age of about 50 years. They were asked to respond to questions about their own personality, that of their future ideal partner, and also the personality of their most recent previous long-term partner. Furthermore, they were asked to answer questions about the relative importance of personality and other traits, including physical attractiveness, to the likelihood of success in a long-term relationship.
Result #1
When asked about the future people prefer that their yet-to-be-found ideal partner have a personality similar to their own.
Based on this finding it would appear that people believe that similar personalities between themselves and their ideal partner is something to which they should aspire. But just how important is that aspiration?
Result #2
People don’t place much importance on finding a similar personality in their future ideal partner.
Although result #1 demonstrated that people think similarity is important in the abstract, in relative terms it doesn’t rank very highly when compared to other traits. Other aspects about a person are believed to be more important. This study found that women more highly value similar attitudes and sense of humor in their ideal partner, while men more valued physical attractiveness and slightly devalued intelligence in their future ideal partners.
Result #3
People see no similarity in personality between themselves and their ex.
This is a particularly interesting finding related to other research on the attraction-similarity theory, which states that people see, and sometimes project or create perceived similarities in their mind when they are attracted to someone. That people in the current study could find no similarity in personality between him- or herself and their ex supports the notion that once attraction has disappeared a sense of similarity does too.
Taken together, these results:
- demonstrate a belief that personality similarity is an aspect of what people look for in their future ideal partner,
- but that other facets about a person are viewed as more important, and
- that it is likely that attraction plays a role in views of personality similarity in the first place.
In essence, people appear to recognize that being with someone who has a similar personality is a good thing for the longevity of their relationship, but don’t really see it as a very exciting or an important part of picking a future ideal partner. Furthermore, level of attraction weighs heavily on the perception of similarity and may tamper with people’s ability to accurately judge actual similarities.
Dr Brenner: Based on this information, you should:
- Educate your members about the power of attraction in forming/biasing their ability to accurately assess personality similarities on their own.
- Assist your members to understand the value of personality similarity when they are seeking long-term relationships.
- Provide members with a valid way to gauge the level of personality similarity between themselves and a prospective date
- So as to not appear out of touch or boring, do not overemphasize personality similarity in marketing and branding efforts as members will likely only value it to a moderate degree, despite its known function in long-term relationship success.
That paper is a big punch to Behavioural Recommender Systems.
Also the United States boasts one of the highest divorce rates in the world, according to Popenoe & Whitehead (2010), who report that 40% of first marriages, 60% of second marriages and 73% of third marriages result in divorce. Research predicts that only 25% of couples will remain happily married after only ten years of marriage (Popenoe & Whitehead, 2010).
Latest Research in Theories of Romantic Relationships Development shows: compatibility is all about a high level on personality* similarity* between prospective mates for long term mating with commitment?
*personality measured with a normative test.
*similarity: there are different ways to calculate similarity, it depends on how mathematically is defined.
WorldWide, there are over 5,000 online dating sites
but no one is using the 16PF5 (or similar test) to assess personality of its members.
Without offering the NORMATIVE16PF5 (or similar test measuring exactly the 16 personality factors) for serious dating, it will be impossible to innovate and revolutionize the Online Dating Industry
All other proposals are .............. NOISE
Posted by: Fernando Ardenghi | Sep 27, 2011 at 08:02 PM
Compatible or complementary differences are often more important than similar personality types. An introvert is often more comfortable dating an extrovert, for example, because it takes the pressure off of him or her in social situations. Additionally, Dr. John Kappas published a book called "Relationship Strategies" which describes patterns of chemistry and attraction of complementary opposites, and the ways those relationships sometimes come to a crisis and how therapists can help couples overcome these crises in their relationships, in order to prevent divorce.
Posted by: Lynn | Oct 02, 2011 at 09:10 AM
Ahhh...this study has unearthed again the often-discussed similarity vs. complementary hypotheses here on this site. I like the irony of the above findings. Much like Match's findings that what singles say they want while on their site doesn't match what they do there...so, in this world of 'chaos' what IS a matchmaking and/or dating expert to do in terms of advising? We ourselves are often confused. Lyn - is Kappas' work based on any credible research? I still like to refer back to Dr. Jim Houran's work with True and the TCT. Has anything come along that's any better? If so, I'd love to know.
Posted by: Barb Elgin, LCSW | Oct 06, 2011 at 12:46 AM
That paper is a big punch to Behavioural Recommender Systems.
Also the United States boasts one of the highest divorce rates in the world, according to Popenoe Whitehead (2010), who report that 40% of first marriages, 60% of second marriages and 73% of third marriages result in divorce. Research predicts that only 25% of couples will remain happily married after only ten years of marriage (Popenoe Whitehead, 2010).
Latest Research in Theories of Romantic Relationships Development shows: compatibility is all about a high level on personality* similarity* between prospective mates for long term mating with commitment?
*personality measured with a normative test.
*similarity: there are different ways to calculate similarity, it depends on how mathematically is defined.
WorldWide, there are over 5,000 online dating sites
but no one is using the 16PF5 (or similar test) to assess personality of its members.
Without offering the NORMATIVE16PF5 (or similar test measuring exactly the 16 personality factors) for serious dating, it will be impossible to innovate and revolutionize the Online Dating Industry
All other proposals are .............. NOISE
+1
Posted by: hotels paris | Sep 24, 2012 at 04:04 PM