Dr Warren Interview; Dating Service Founder's Goal: Love that Lasts

FORT WAYNE NEWS SENTINEL -- Mar 28 -- What made you start eHarmony?  "More than anything else, it had to with my grieving over the incredible amount of marriages that kept ending in divorce right in front of me (while working as a psychotherapist). I did 512 divorce autopsies and found that 75% of the marriages that failed were in trouble from the day they started. The reason was that the two people were not very well matched for each other.  We have 436 questions we ask.  71% of all people who start the questionnaire finish it. A soul mate is somebody who tends to see the world in a similar way in which you see it, and when you're around them you feel really good about yourself. Anybody who is emotionally and characteristically healthy has a soul mate. If you're in some way or another pathological, you probably don't have one." 

Mark Brooks: This interview gives some insight to eHarmony's matching methodology and philosophy.  Match based on similarities...extricate the extremes.

Comments

[Ayannali]

I hhave heard that some who used Eharmony complained that it was very narrow in giving matches. Say no inter racial couples or no same sex.

I think if the site proports a certain "morality" then it should be up front about it. Say if you are a Christian site, then say so.

[Steve]

Well, I think it's OK to be picky about marriage. I won't settle for a wife until she's almost perfect for me, even if that means never getting married (nobody can be perfect). I'd say it's far better to be single than be in an unhappy marriage.

-Steve
Games are for Children

[James Houran]

It is extremely important to note that research actually shows that the principle of similarity across all relationship variables is not the best recipe for compatibility.

The degree of similarity observed depends on the particular individual-difference domain studied, with romantic partners showing strong similarity in age, political, and religious attitudes; moderate similarity in education, general intelligence, and values; and little or no similarity in personality characteristics (for reviews, see Klohnen & Mendelson, 1998; Watson et al., 2004).

TRUE.com's research using more advanced statistics than used by eHarmony shows that models of assortative mating in terms of gross similarity or complementarity are oversimplifications and that a schema or “couple-centered” approach is a more valid predictor of relationship satisfaction and stability.

Specifically, it appears that men and women have different definitions of relationship quality. Thus irrespective of the necessary but unquantifiable element of “romantic chemistry,” our research suggests that couples with satisfying and stable relationships are distinguished by their ability to integrate qualitatively different issues into the relationship via complex mental processes.

Finally, it is curious to note that Dr. Warren has published no peer-reviewed journal articles on relationship psychology, much less compatibility testing. The only study in support of eHarmony was debunked in a paper recently published in the North American Journal of Psychology -- and Dr. Warren was not even an author on that study. Most disturbingly, customers and reporters are ignored when they question eHarmony about the alleged "science" behind their methods.

In contrast, TRUE.com has the only compatibility test that has been independently audited by a world-respected tests and measurements expert. In addition, its test has been published in a peer-reviewed, scientific journal. To my knowledge, it is the only test that has been proven to meet professional testing standards and which has been accepted within the academic community.

References

Klohnen, E. C., & Mendelsohn, G. A. (1998). Partner selection for personality characteristics: a couple-centered approach. Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin, 24, 268-278.

Watson, D., Klohnen, E. C., Casillas, A., Nus Simms, E., Haig, J., & Berry, D. S. (2004). Match makers and deal breakers: analyses of assortative mating in newlywed couples. Journal of Personality, 72, 1029-1068.

Thanks,

James Houran, Ph.D.
Chief Psychologist, TRUE.com