Online Personals Watch: News on the Online Dating Industry and Business

Next Gen Weighs a 'Secure' Future

  WIRED -- Apr 18 -- At the Computers, Freedom and Privacy conference in Seattle last week five teenagers with a sophisticated grasp of civil liberties and First Amendment rights took the stage; moderated by Danah Boyd and Kevin Bankston, a lawyer with the Electronic Frontier Foundation.

Boyd: Do any of you or your peers use text messaging, and if so why?
Morgan: Well, a lot of my friends use text messaging so that they can (communicate) in class without getting caught. They become experts at sitting there looking like they're reading books, but they're really punching in their text message to their friends. And what really pisses me off ... is they use it during tests to transfer answers.

Boyd: I know that some of your friends and you use (blogging). So why did your friends start using it and what do they use it for?  Morgan: If you've got something that's bothering you, you can just rant about it (on a blog) and get it off your chest without actually doing something that you might regret later.  Elisabeth: My parents got divorced this year. It's kind of rough. I can just tell my friends something (on my blog) that was going on without having to do this whole sob thing (in person).  Steve: It's a safety valve for a lot of teenagers, just to keep them from blowing their tops. Max: It's a great way to understand what everyone thinks about (a) teacher.

Boyd: Another argument against teenage blogging is that it exposes you to the ever-present sexual predators. Does this stop anyone you know from participating?   Steve: My cousin chatted with someone she thought was a 13-year-old girl for about two years and ended up almost being kidnapped by a 30-year-old stalker.... So I think you need to be careful with it, but I think if you use common sense it's perfectly safe. Elisabeth: I remember the first day I posted my (profile on) MySpace. I got this message from some guy who's like, "You're cute. Do you have a webcam? Why don't we talk on AIM, here's my (AIM address)." I was like, "Yeah, OK" (speaking sarcastically). I mean, you don't talk to people you don't know. It's common sense.  Steve: You don't actually have to be yourself (on a blog). You can put up completely false information and you can still blog with your friends. People you trust know that it's really you, the other people don't.  Steve: Actually, most of the people put up real information.
Morgan: Yeah, a lot of people put up information I wouldn't put up if I were them.

Boyd: How popular is file-sharing amongst your community and how has it changed over time?  Elisabeth: It's really popular. I know I use it but not very much. I know all my friends use it. I don't want to pay $18 for a CD when I can download songs or burn a CD from all my friends.  Morgan: I think that it's actually decreased in recent years.... You're more likely to get your music from your friends than from anybody else. I know that lots of times when I go over to LAN parties or something I'll look at other people's music ... and I'll throw their files onto my computer. It's faster than file sharing, it's easier, and it's not as illegal. (Audience laughs nervously.)

Boyd: Schools have been interested in implementing filtering systems that purport to block pornography and other offensive material. Do any of your schools do this?  Morgan: My school ... used to filter only some stuff, now it's filtering more.... I'm actually opposed to all forms of filtering. People need to make their own decisions. Schools should not be making moral decisions for their students.  Bankston: Adults justify this filtering because they feel the material is harmful to minors. Do you buy that?  Morgan: Partially yes, because I do know people who have had pornography addictions in third grade. But on the other hand, it's really not the job of the school to stop that from happening. The parents need to teach their kids not to do that. Elisabeth: I don't think that porn is a very good thing to have on the internet, but I don't think that that kind of stuff should be allowed on the internet (at all) if it's so bad for us. Steve: I find it quite absurd that they would filter based on swear words. Honestly, I hear more swear words in school than from anywhere else.

Steve: Every kid at whatever age gets "the talk" from their parents about sex. So why don't they have a one-on-one mature conversation with their kids about privacy on the internet as well?  Morgan: Parents really need to talk to their kids more. A lot of times (my parents) don't really talk to me about anything, they just expect me to know it. If parents want their kids to act mature, if they want their kids to care about certain things, they need to explain to their kids why they should care. 

Mark Brooks: Great insight.  Check out Danah's papers, 'Friendster and Publicly Articulated Social Networks' 'Social Network Fragments' 'Sexing the Internet'

The Jewish Mother Stereotype: Fact or Fiction?

PRNEWSWIRE -- Apr 18 -- Are Jewish mothers really that meddlesome when it comes to dating? According to a JDate poll, approximately half, of the over 600, respondents said, "yes, they are." Of those who answered, "yes," half said they found her behavior endearing while the other half wished she would stop.  In honor of Jewish mothers, everywhere, JDate is searching for 'JDate Mom of the Year.' From now through April 30, 2005, mothers of JDate members can visit JDate.com to enter to win dinner for three (for mom, her son or daughter and his or her JDate). 

Mark Brooks: JDate owns the Jewish focused online dating market.  JewishFriendFinder is a competitor.  Anyone know of any others?

Do You Want to be My Friendster?

SOUTH BEND TRIBUNE -- Apr 17 -- Young professionals are turning to neatly packaged Web sites like Friendster, MySpace, NamesDatabase and LinkedIn to help them create relationships.  "It is sort of the next generation of lifestyle portals," said Chris DeWolfe, CEO of MySpace.com.  Michelle Wohl, marketing director for Friendster, said "really, the stigma is gone from meeting people online." That stigma is what spurred Jonathan Abrams to start Friendster in 2003. He had been unsuccessful in online dating, calling it "a bit creepy," and decided a better way to meet people was through common friends.  The "viral nature" of the trend has grown Friendster's membership to 15 million.  MySpace, whose slogan is "A place for friends," is gaining on Friendster with 9 million users. It has focused on a specific interest, music, and the company has even organized large parties.  NamesDatabase offers fewer bells and whistles.  It has revenues of $1 million, runs on two Dell servers.  Users must submit more than 20 e-mail addresses of friends to the database for full access or buy a $12 subscription. The site boasts 13 million users.  LinkedIn is targeted at business people who use the site to find employees or clients.  It has 2 million users, many of whom are high-ranking execs. 

Florida Background Checks Bill Hits Boiling Point

OPW -- The background checks legislation will be heard in the Florida Senate in it's final committee review next Tuesday.  Brace yourselves.  This is critical.  If approved it will go through to a vote in the Senate.

OPW Exclusive Interview #1 - R-Kevin Ambler

OPW INTERVIEW -- Apr 20, 2005 -- R-Kevin Ambler - House sponsor of the Florida background checks legislation

Why the need for legislation? – “I have a 15 year old daughter and a 17 year old son who live on the internet.  It’s their tool for communicating.  Background checks sounded like a good idea for protecting their interests in the future, especially after I heard about a national poll in which 20% of the one thousand online dating respondents thought background checks were already required. (Independent national survey of online daters, Infosurv).  Many online daters have a false sense of security.  Clear disclosure is required in this case, along with the meaning of 'background checks' and limitations.  It’s not a perfect system.  Some states don't release conviction records publicly.  I have written this legislation so if a site does a check a pop-up that has to be electronically acknowledged is displayed.  Do you know there are over 200 million conviction records publicly available!  I want my daughter to know, and have the ability to identify felons in the future.  As a parent it's incumbent of me to protect my kids future.  They are the most internet savvy generation yet...and the most likely to drop their guard.  The government looks after public safety and welfare.  Disclosures are a part of that.  The government requires labeling and warning on cigarettes and other known perils.  I should note, this legislation does not require anyone to adopt background checks.” 

What is the legislations likelihood of success? – “The first committees have processed it after an excellent vetting of the issues.  It was debated twice for over an hour in the house.  We are becoming alarmed about the number of predators and felons so anything we can do to improve the odds and safety is a good thing, a step forward, so I have a very positive outlook on this legislation.  The Florida legislation is different from the rest of the country.  I spent 20 years as an attorney, am a former federal prosecutor with the US attorney’s office, and have a deep understanding of constitutional issues. I drafted the legislation to balance business, commerce and government issues in the interests of protecting safety.  It was very carefully tailored to be minimally intrusive to the business model but offers a fair level of protection.  The legislation goes one step further; if the site does background checks and finds convictions, it can choose to disclose to the member that this person has been identified as having a felony or sex related conviction.  It’s up to the site if they choose to ban communication or simply disclose.” 

How about married people? – “We’re not legislating on marriage disclosure.  We’d be getting into morality issues.” 

What are the next steps for the legislation? – “There’s one more committee in the house and senate; the justice council and judiciary committee.  It then goes to full votes in the senate and house and has to pass in both chambers, and then the governor has to sign it.  If it were to fail then it could not come back up till next March in the next legislative session.”

What are the implications for other online services? – “ISP's are excluded from liability…background checks have nothing to do with the carriers of online dating sites.  The employment area is also ripe for discussion  i.e. monster.com should indicate if applicant background checks have been done.  I don't see anything beyond services effecting individuals safety as possibilities for future legislation.  Sites that are involved in financial deals could also choose to do background checks.  I could foresee them being offered in environments such as eBay.  But, this area does not serve the same compelling safety interests for legislation.  I don't have to meet people from eBay…but a background check would have some bearing on whether I trust them.” 


Mark Brooks: Some useful links to proposed legislation; MICHIGAN SB 286, FLORIDA HB 1035, FLORIDA SB 1768, TEXAS HB 1307, CALIFORNIA AB 1681

True Hires ex-Bush Aide to Seek Safety Checks

PALM BEACH POST -- Apr 16 -- True has hired a well-connected lobbyist from Tampa — former Secretary of the Department of Management Services Cynthia Henderson — to push the background checks measure. True routinely rejects 5% of possible daters identified as felons. Rapsheets asserts that the checks are derived from 17 different public records sources but the DOC database hasn't been updated since August, and rapsheets.com searches only 16 of the state's 67 counties.  "These background checks are not perfected and could create a false sense of security," said Sen. David Aronberg, D-Greenacres, who voted against the bill.  The House sponsor, Kevin Ambler, said his measure (HB 1035) is an attempt to "bring our laws into the 21st century to protect consumer safety." Last month, a New Jersey man who had a profile on match.com was charged with murdering a co-worker, her sister and her 3-year-old daughter.  But Eichinger, the man accused of the killings, would have passed such a screening with flying colors, according to Kristin Kelly, match.com spokeswoman who said he had no arrest record until the charges and has not been convicted of a felony.  Other opponents appear to include two dozen Internet and technology companies, who last month sent the lawmakers a letter calling the legislation "an ill-advised approach" that also "discriminates against internet business models by applying only to dating services that operate primarily online." The unsigned letter was written on behalf of such internet giants as Microsoft, Google, eBay, Amazon.com and Yahoo!, as well as match.com. 

Mark Brooks: The legislation is listed at www.idate2005.com and calls for dating sites to disclose prominently if they don't do background checks, or offer them.  Fast forward 6 months.  True pushes this legislation through, background check companies knock themselves out to provide online dating companies with new levels of background checks services...and True loses it's differentiation.  Then what?  Your comments please...

Dating in the City

GREATER MILWAUKIE TODAY -- Apr 15 -- Most have heard of the concept of "speed dating." The FastDater process consists of three minute "dates." From there, participants are able to rate and select whom they’d like to date again. If a match is made, via e-mail the pair is contacted for further communication.  I subscribed to eHarmony.com, Match.com and AmericanSingles.com. The matches that had been made for me by the futuristic, ultra complex eHarmony.com computer were not exactly what I was looking for.  Says a DJ user,"I do believe many people misrepresent themselves and embellish on their looks, but I would do it again. In fact, quite a few couples that have used my DJ service met online and got married. Go figure."  Milwaukee resident Heather Lane met her husband, Anthony, through Match.com. "Match.com was recommended by friends. I went into it with an open attitude and by the third date, I met him.  It was fun and I’m definitely happy, he’s a great guy." 

Mark Brooks: PreDating is still the leading spee dating company.  I helped Cupid tie the knot with them last year.  Hurrydate and 8 Minute Dating follow on.

London Snog

VILLAGE VOICE -- Apr 15 -- Since moving to New York from England, I have ascertained that not everyone shags on the first date. In God's Blessed Land, "dating" has been established for the express pursuit of filtering for one's life partner before tumbling haphazardly into bed with them. I am more used to the English way of doing things. Get blind drunk, snog, repeat the next week, repeat the next week, bang! relationship. By the time alcohol has dissolved that messy barrier between social convention and drunken desire, the English couple has progressed past the need to ever "know" each other, apart from in the carnal sense. Having sailed through the last few years shagging married men—unknowingly, for the most part—I don't think I'd know what to do if I ever got past the "hanging out" stage. The New York answer is probably to take all the money I would have spent on happy-hour margaritas and invest it in an excellent therapist. A friend of mine, Amy, who has been online dating for a year or so, regaled me with horrors of how 99% of participants regularly "fake" their photos. "You have to be careful when meeting them. Don't take any risks." The challenge in successful online dating, then, is managing to avoid a potential psychopath. I would rather go out, buy two bottles of wine, and glug my way into inebriation. It works in England. 

Mark Brooks: Those barbarian Brits!

Some Parents Worried Website Could Expose Children to Pedophiles

RENO CHANNEL 4 NEWS -- Apr 18 -- Denise's daughter is a middle school student, but to Internet users she's a very different person. "She put that she was 18, making $100,000 a year," on myspace.com. Her daughter got a lot of responses from older men. The website requires users to be over 18, but that hasn't stopped school students from logging on. School officials say myspace.com is one of several online networks they may seem fun to kids, but can make them easy targets for Internet predators. "We got filtering software installed in all the servers in schools, it automatically updates itself, we can add a specific address which is what we did in this case." News 4 attempted to reach myspace.com for comment, but did not get a response.

The full article was originally published at KRNV, but is no longer available.

Mark Brooks: Sheesh, where to start with this one?  MySpace does have a younger audience.  HotorNot also.  But we can only do so much policing.  Of course, if everyone put down their credit cards we could verify age quite easily.  Freedoms vs infractions.  Your comments please...

Poll Shows 49% of Respondents Would Relocate for Love

PRWEB -- Apr 15 -- "Would you relocate for love?" was asked to the visitors of aLoveLinksPlus.com, an advice and dating portal website. Almost 50% told us that they would move to be closer to one they love, with 40% open to the idea of moving.  (1) Yes 49% (2) No 11% (3) Maybe 40%  (134 votes) RELEASE @ YAHOO

Mark Brooks: For those who don't have any particular burning dating preferences, try a leading online dating company and start local.  Other quick polls...What comes first, love or sex; 27% Love, 73% Sex (1241 votes)...What's your reason for trying online dating; 47% Lonely, 42% It's hard to meet people, 11% New to area (107 votes)

Beware Russian Brides

CBS NEWS -- Apr 14 -- Vladimir is an undercover detective hunting down Russian women who bill themselves online as brides. "They suck out $3,000 to $5,000, then simply disappear," he says. He helps clients find out if their online love is real or an Internet phantom. "I'm a little surprised at the sheer volume - three to four a day is pretty significant and you have to bear in mind that we're probably not receiving all of the complaints," says James Pettit, the U.S. Consul General in Moscow. "One big warning, do not send money for visa and tickets," says Garrett.  FULL ARTICLE @ CBS NEWS

Internet Scam that Led to Heartbreak

ARIZONA REPUBLIC -- Apr 15 -- The Russian brunette he met online appeared to be everything Steven Coffman was looking for. He had known her for less than two months. But he was ready to propose. Coffman arranged a visit to the US for the woman, who said her name was Elena. The cost was $2,000, which he thought would cover her visa and travel costs. Then the day came. Coffman went to Sky Harbor Airport. The Russian beauty didn't ever arrive. "I never thought I could get fooled by something like this," Coffman said. "I know now I was naive.

Mark Brooks: Perhaps he could have flown to Russia and met her...and been duped by the Russian mob.  Best to play local.  Or, if you do want to date long distance, be mentally prepared to turn your visit to a distant love into a lone holiday.

Social Butterflies Flock to Internet Friend Sites

TELEGRAPH -- Apr 10 -- Friendster was the first big hit. But when your mom gets her own Friendster profile, you know it’s time to move on. Enter Myspace, Habbohotel, Linkedin, Jewster, Orkut and Tickle. Danah Boyd, a UC Berkeley doctoral candidate (online communities) says such sites connected her to like-minded people when she was an isolated teen.  Judith Meskill, editor of the Social Software Weblog recently met someone she had been corresponding with online. “I showed up and, plop, in the middle of the grassy knoll was a guy sitting in a wheelchair and flailing like he had no motor control. He was wearing a football helmet, with a bent straw that he would use to punch out words on a Ouija-board-size keyboard. He was laughing; it was amazing. We were both laughing. I never knew it (from chatting with him online).”  Says Tickle.com CEO James Currier: “People are reaching out for richer interaction. In your real life, you probably only interact with 100 people. On the Internet, you find ones most like you and that have same interests as you.”  Flickr.com combines blogging, social networking and photo sharing. On Last.fm, users create a profile with a list of songs, and the Web site connects users with similar musical tastes. “Of course it’s addictive,” Boyd says of these social Web sites. “It plays into human nature.”

The full article was originally published at Nashua Telegraph, but is no longer available.

Mark Brooks: Flickr was just bought by Yahoo.  Fotolog.net is a popular competitor.

Approval of True.com Legislation in Florida

PRNEWSWIRE -- Apr 14 -- The House Criminal Justice Committee voted 5-to-2 in favor of HB 1035, and members of the Senate Commerce and Consumer Services Committee voted 6-to-2 in support of SB 1768. The bills would require providers of online dating services to disclose if they do or do not conduct criminal background checks on their clients. When True first applied the background checks to their database, True.com screened out 11% of its site applicants. In Florida alone, there were more than 475 instances where site applicants were found to have sexual offenses felony convictions or provided false or inaccurate information. "We have an opportunity to help Florida's users of online dating services. They have a right to know if criminal background checks are or are not being conducted on members they are talking to online and possibly meeting," said HB1035's sponsor Representative Kevin Ambler. "This disclosure requirement is an important public safety measure that will help safeguard honest Floridians from dangerous sexual predators and convicted felons looking for potential victims." The legislation further requires firms who do run criminal background checks to disclose that the screening is not fool-proof and also to provide consumers with safer dating tips. 

Mark Brooks: The legislation still needs to get past another committee stage before final vote.  ConfirmID was an early attempt at ID confirmation by FriendFinder.  It bombed.  Users won't pay for background checks en masse unless it is incorporated into standard service offerings.  When a man is interested in a woman he needs to communicate... a. he's interested  b. he's safe.  On the one hand, the more online dating can improve over the real world (i.e. meeting someone at a bar), the better the industry will do.  On the other hand, background checks are a tough pill to swallow, especially when rammed down the industry's throat with legislation.  True.com's CEO has had practice at driving through legislation.  HD Vest was based on an illegal business model.  Herb Vest made it legal.  This juggernaut will not stop.  Time to take the background checks legislation more seriously.

Will Meetup Users Pay or Leave?

BUSINESS WEEK -- Apr 13 -- Meetup made its reputation when Howard Dean backers used the meeting site to form local groups. The number of "meetups" has jumped 50% from a year ago, to more than 2,400 a week. Meetup told its 2 million members that it's time for their groups to pay up. Organizers of each Meetup group, of which there are currently 54,000, are to pay $19 a month, or $9 a month for existing groups. Founder and CEO Scott Heiferman says he hopes the move will help the 29-person NYC company turn a profit by yearend. Friendster, with 14 million registered users, hopes to make money from advertisements and corporate sponsorships. LinkedIn launched a for-pay service, charging up to $95 a month for job listings.  As Heiferman says bluntly: "Meetup doesn't deserve to continue if it's not creating value."

The full article was originally published at BusinessWeek, but is no longer available.

Mark Brooks: There are too many dead groups on MeetUp.  Charging a nominal fee will ultimately enrich the user experience. Good move.