The Disastrous Effects of Match.com

WASHINGTON POST -- Jan 28 -- (Written by a woman interviewed by The Washington Post whose mother helps her find dates on Match.com.)  We do everything possible to please our man. You prefer French cooking? Mais oui, mon cher! You want my hair long? No problem.  What the hell has happened? Match.com and other online dating services have given men access to a smorgasbord of women.  We are bolting sooner and sooner if there is a lull in the conversation or the slightest hint of incompatibility, knowing that the next one will appear within a few mouse clicks.  Be honest about your age and size. You may think you will charm him with your dazzling personality but you're simply wasting his time and yours if you lie.  Don't respond to winks or messages from men with no photos, they're married or involved.  If he doesn't ask to meet you within a week of phone calls and e-mails, he is either busy serial dating or too busy working to date you.  Keep the date short and do not even think of sleeping with him until he is clearly nuts about you. The way he treats your family is very important. If he is cold, indifferent, or not eager to spend time with them, run! FULL ARTICLE @ WASHINGTON POST

Mark Brooks: Thanks to Kathryn Lord for the heads up on this article.  Is internet dating really responsible for the demise of the long term relationship?  Let's discuss this further, your comments please...

Comments

[Mark Brooks]

On the one hand, online dating services do a fantastic job of helping people get the tough questions out of the way sooner and providing singles huge pools of people to wade through to find their ideal matches. And the tools for finding them are getting more and more advanced and capable.

On the other hand, with such a big pool of singles at their beck and call, singles have never had more choice, so why choose? Is internet dating making people non-committal?

I think this article focuses on guys too much. Whatever points this article makes, I think the same is true for women. (Granted, to a slightly lesser extent.)

Mark Brooks
Editor, Online Personals Watch

[Kathryn Lord]

Here's an excerpt from my blog posting for today (http://www.find-a-sweetheart.com/blog/item/matchcom_makes_newsbits/)

"... in a bow to just how famous Match.com has become, The Washington Post published a piece on 1/28/2007 that is basically an angry rant about the plight of single women by an anonymous woman in her 30’s. It’s sort of amazing that the Post would even publish an anonymous piece, let alone one that blames Match.com and other dating sites for her ills.

However, like most rants, there are grains of truth. Granted, men (and women) have gotten spoiled by the seeming plethora of “hotties” of both genders. Never mind that these folks practically never return emails. Anonymous goes on to list her demands for dignity and respect, for all single women to to start “dignified dating behavior.” Some of the list makes sense, like honesty, keeping in shape and not dressing provocatively. But just as her anger reduces the effect of her message, some of her guidelines negate the rest. Like “If you don’t receive flowers by the third date, dump him.” Gosh.

Remember, the Internet and dating sites like Match.com are the medium, like a telephone. Phones changed people’s lives, too. We are in the middle of a big change period for dating and mating. It feels like with Internet dating going mainstream (out of the shadows), we are now in a bit of the opposite extreme, of people going sort of wild with expectations, and then having massive disappointment.

[Neal]

Yeah come on - online dating is just a tool. Do guns kill people (or people)? Hell, if there really is such an effect, perhaps one could argue this will force us all to be *better* mates instead of taking the other for granted and treating them like dirt, as I so far too often in committed relationships.

[DotMySpot]

Hiye just stopping by.. nice blog u have here :)

[Matt]

I believe 'too many options' can be lengthen the time it takes to find a long term relationship. I don't see that as bad. I see it as positive. Why decide on an long term relationship partner out of scarcity? I like choosing one out of abundance much more.

A traditional conservative society may not like that frame so much. Many people are starting to wait much longer for their first marriage. But that's a whole new thread.

[Jennifer]

Internet dating works like a mirror before you where your long term relationship with others reflects about itself.

I personnally believe internet dating just offer people a broad choice of finding their soulmates. If you are busy with your daily work, and you are still single or single again, it usually means you don't have sufficient time and vigor to find and date someone who interest you in real life. However, internet dating can do you a favor. A variety of online dating sites are available for your choice. If you are a wealthy single you can go to www.millionairematch.com; if you are a horse lover, you may want to check out www.equestriancupid.com;if you are a biker single, you need to visit www.bikerkiss.com,etc. In real life, can you find the one who share your passion, interest and hobbies easily withour the help of online dating sites?