NY TIMES (Front page) - Apr 23 - People are becoming more relaxed about privacy, having come to recognize that publicizing little pieces of information about themselves can result in serendipitous conversations. Mr. Brooks, a 38-year-old consultant for online dating sites, publishes his travel schedule on Dopplr. His DNA profile is available on 23andMe. And on Blippy, he makes public everything he spends with his Chase Mastercard, along with his spending at Netflix, iTunes and Amazon.com. “It’s very important to me to push out my character and hopefully my good reputation as far as possible, and that means being open,” he said, dismissing any privacy concerns by adding, “I simply have nothing to hide.” Blippy, which opened last fall, was the first site to introduce the notion of publishing credit card and other purchases. Last month it attracted ~125,000 visitors and closed an investment round of $11M from venture capitalists. “Ten years ago, people were afraid to buy stuff online. Now they’re sharing everything they buy,” said Barry Borsboom, a student at Leiden University in the Netherlands, who this year created a site called Please Rob Me. The site collected and published Foursquare updates that indicated when people were out socializing and therefore away from their homes. FULL ARTICLE @ NY TIMES. Also in Argentinas LA NACION, SJ MERCURY NEWS.
Mark Brooks: Will people share this kind of extraneous information in their internet dating profile? Should they? Your comments please.
The debate continues today whether or not "full disclosure" should be a part of the online dating world. In 2010 transparency through the web is just as natural and common as calling Mom on Sundays. Yet, online dating is still masked with the perception by its users that only so much of the truth should be revealed. Old photos, pseudonyms, body type misrepresentation... you name it.
Do I want a potential date to know how much I spent on my nose job before we ever meet? Probably not. But should I hide the fact that I had a nose job? Probably not if I tweeted about it!
Having nothing to hide is very different from being dishonest. Online daters should embrace the the truth factor, but tread lightly when it comes to full disclosure, after all... you are trying to attract someone!
Posted by: Patrick | Apr 26, 2010 at 01:28 PM
One of my favorite sites for great lines of questioning is OurStory.com. See http://ourstory.com/q_a.html
If you're building a dating site and considering what kinds of questions to ask, you should review the site for inspiration. The questions were thought provoking and cause members to reveal their story in a detailed and interesting manner. Nerve.com has some great questions as well. Also worth a look-in.
I encourage idating users to be honest in their profiles. Lies are no way to start a relationship. One of the things women frequently list in their profiles is that they want to meet someone who is honest. So if you lie in your profile, you're basically telling them you're a liar. Why not just tell the truth, and show that you're someone to be trusted. You may have to work harder to get out on that first date, but the end result will probably be better when the person you're dating realizes that you're a straight shooter.
One of the ways you can build trust is by revealing details of who you are in your profile. You don't need to spill your guts on everything, but just showing some level of detail helps you stand out from the crowd and adds a layer of character to your profile that can help get more results. You like theater, great, what kind, why and what did you see last? You like going for walks on the beach, great, so does everyone else. Is it because you like running 10 miles on the beach at 6am. Or taking beach walks at dusk with your labrador at the waters edge where the sand feels great on your bare feet. Who are you? Details please. if you're not good at expressing yourself, hire a coach or profile helper to assist you in bubbling the best up into your profile.
Posted by: Mark Brooks | Apr 26, 2010 at 03:55 PM