Online Dating Is Eroding Humanity

GUARDIAN.CO.UK - July 25 - The internet is changing the way society communicates, processes information and knowledge, and configures its relationship towards authority. Today, internet dating has become more or less accepted as a way of forming relationships.There has been little thought or comment on why matchmaking websites might be a bad thing per se. Online matchmaking is premised on the notion of making rational choices. Furthermore, the way dating websites calculate matches distorts the very core of interpersonal relations. Online seekers of partners and friends rely on computer calculations of a set of hard questions. There is little room (if any) for subtlety, deviance, or exploration.

by John Walters
See full article at Guardian.co.uk

Comments

[Nick]

I would argue that this is exactly where good computer algorithms CAN help. In the end, people make the final decision on who to pair off with and not the computer. We should give users more credit in making choices. People get stressed and overwhelmed with too much choice. They need help to narrow down options when making choices. Algorithms need to be seen more as HIGHLY PERSONALIZED assistants that offer better opportunities to the dater. Personalized options offerred by a site should always aim to be better than just walking into a bar. Also, remember that there is quite a lot of serendipity, randomness and exploration in the process of making mate searches/discoveries online.

[Mark Brooks]

Point 1 - The idating industry is still virgin. Its young, and learning, rapidly, we think.

FIX: Sharing more good information, and more good science. Which is why we created Online Personals Watch and more recently, Internet Dating Science.

Point 2 - Short term rogue marketing gains sway many sites away from more enduring paths, and more enduting gains.

FIX: Users talk. It will all shake out in the end. But it may shake users over into a new industry entirely.

Point 3 - Most sites just ask the wrong questions. Dating sites feed the fickle user mindset, partner selection by fickle attributes.

FIX: Gentle user education.

[Josh]

I think OkCupid is one of the sites that's on the right track as far as questions go. They have more relevant questioning and general questions that people tend to ask each other or expect to know of the person they want to be with.

[twitter.com/rosswilliams]

That article is utter intellectual wankfest - the fact is, dating sites help you get a date. Relationship sites (like eharmony) are for those looking for a self-made relationship.

The job of dating sites is to help their members find suitable prospects for a date - and generally, members are best left to the dating themselves.

There's so much success in online dating which is well documented - articles like that one are not deserved. As Dating Trail states, it's a dull piece by a dull person who might be better looking for love in a dull club for overly clever, dull people.

Ross