'No Asian. No Indian': Picky Dater Or Racist Dater?

THE GLOBE AND MAIL - Feb 23 - Racial filtering is alive and well on mainstream dating and hookup sites, which give users the option of checking ethnic preferences alongside ideal body types and social habits like smoking and drinking. While most critics agree that the ethnicity checkbox is vastly preferable to specifying 'No Asians,' they disagree about whether the option is a step backward. Is it any different than hunting through niche sites like Shaadi or JDate? Grindr acknowledged that users can list race in their preferences, but can be banned for posting material "perceived to incite racism". "We also encourage our users to state what they are looking for as opposed to what they are not looking for." A dating poll of 2K Lavalife users found that 74% of women surveyed said ethnicity affected their dating decisions, compared with 49% of men. "Men are more open to meeting people from different communities. They tend to concentrate on physical aspects whereas women are much more interested in lifestyle and background," said Justin Parfitt, CEO of speed-dating company FastLife International. "People should be free to have sex or not have sex with anyone they want", argued Harry Reis, a psychology professor at the University of Rochester who co-authored a review of 400 studies on online dating. "In my estimation, it is fine (although self-limiting) to be racist with regard to sexual preferences", he said. "Throw out the checklist," Mr. Parfitt advises. "What you think you want and where you end up finding chemistry are often two very different things."

by Zosia Bielski
The full article was originally published at Globe and Mail, but is no longer available.

See all posts on Shaadi            See all posts on Lavalife
See all posts on JDate              See all posts on FastLife
See all posts on Grindr

Comments

[Anonymous]

"Throw out the checklist" is the lament of a man who can't get as many dates as he wants because "women are too picky." Women are supposed to be picky. We generally want stable relationships with men we can raise families with. Ethnic and cultural differences don't matter as much in a one night stand as they do in trying to make a long term relationship work between 2 people who have very different ideas about religion, gender roles, etc. Maybe it's not about "sex" and "chemistry" but about long-term compatibility for a viable future together. Stop calling women racist when (most) women are simply being suitably picky.

[joe]

Women should be picky and have a right for protection, harassment, and safety reasons. Women certainly have the advantage in online dating, and for beautiful women, it usually is not difficult to find what they want in a husband. But the checklist for Mr Perfect comes into play when a woman cannot land the husband of her dreams. Men are smart, worldly, risk takers who are open minded about meeting new and different people from different backgrounds. Women are sheltered, socially and academically, and expected to be housewives and mothers reliant on a husband to provide for much of their lifestyle. In America at least, Asians and Indians are generally well-educated and higher earning. I think its just a lack of exposure in real life to different cultures and races that creates racism than anything else.

[Account Deleted]

Ethnicity and culture will surely affect a relationship however it will always depend on the two person involve. Even a couple with the same culture sometimes have the same problem. So, the culture yes will surely affects but could never be a basis of having a partner ethnicity preferences. Check this out