VOX - Apr 24 - Helen Fisher is a biological anthropologist, the chief scientific adviser to Match.com, and the author of several books including Why We Love: The Nature and Chemistry of Romantic Love. She's written six books about human sexuality, gender differences in the brain, and how cultural trends shape our views of sex, love, and attachment.
Q: What happens to our brains on love?
A: There is an activity in a tiny little part of the brain called the ventral tegmental area. It turns out that this brain system makes dopamine, which is a natural stimulant.
Q: Is it different from the experience of sex?
A: The sex drive is largely orchestrated by testosterone, but romantic love is orchestrated by the dopamine system.
Q: So being in love is like being hooked up to a perpetual dopamine drip.
A: It's a great way to put it. But the dopamine hits occur even when you're not with the person. You can think of love as an intense obsession, but it's really an addiction. We found that, in addition to the dopamine system being activated in the brains of people in love, we also found activity in another part of the brain called the nucleus accumbens. This part of the brain is activated in all forms of behavioral addiction - whether it's drugs or gambling or food or kleptomania. So this part of the brain fires up in people who have recently fallen in love, and it really does function like an addiction.
Q: What do we, as a culture, get wrong about male and female sexuality?
A: A lot. We think men want to have sex with everything that walks, but that's not true. They're much more picky than people think. We also got it wrong that women are not interested in sex. Women in college have more sex than men in college do. Men fall in love faster and more often. Men like public displays of affection more regularly. Men have more intimate conversations with their girlfriends and wives than women do with their husbands and boyfriends because women have their intimate conversations with their girlfriends, not necessarily with their man. Men are also 2.5 times more likely to kill themselves when a relationship is over.
Q: What makes for a happy marriage or relationship?
A: Express empathy, control your own emotions, and overlook the negatives in your partner and focus on the positives.
by Sean Illing
See full article at Vox
Summarized by the IDEA team