REFINERY29 - 'Are We Dating The Same Guy?' started as a Facebook group for New Yorkers that allows women to anonymously share warnings about guys they've dated, or request intel on potential suitors. The group has accrued 60k members in just a couple of months and spawned sister groups in most major US cities and internationally. 'Are We Dating the Same Guy?' was founded just a few weeks after 'West Elm Caleb' went viral on Tik Tok. 'West Elm Caleb' is a twenty-something Brooklynite whose Tinder screenshots blew up after multiple women all shared negative experiences with him on TikTok. The saga underscored the power of the wider community to share intel and compare experiences. According to cyber dating expert and relationship coach Julie Spira, seeking out a 'reference' can be a way to vet your date and feel safer while navigating the digital courtship process. "In a perfect world, everyone should have a friend or family member as a reference, but don't count on it," says Julie. "The most valuable part of dating online is that there are digital tools to help you find information about your date."
by Elizabeth Whitehead
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